if i never see your face again ...
then i will find you and love you once more
time after time

19.11.09

hey.. i actually just dunno


an itty bitty creature..

i wish i can speak aloud. i mean. i could. but it's hard to reconstruct a sentence without making yourself appear as a lost asian with no sense of direction of conversation or language. when i think of a point. someone else will always rephrase it nicely. therefore, making me miss my cue to participate. stammering. wording in simple kindergardenular terms. wish i could improve from these. hearing them debate is like watching a drama series. wish i can be that animated. they say no questions are stupid. man. my group mates really prove them right.

video sessions are the most embarrassing thing that were ever thought of. you ask. you answer. you flush. you confuse-sise. its all recorded in the camera. and they just had to rewatch it all back so that all that mortifying moment sticks in the head. great. LOVE my accent. now i know why nazi suka imitate. nabil too. ifah too. babu jua. hmm.

brain blocks are the worst. it's amazing how people can just respond to people's questions just like *snap* do their mind works beyond the speed of light? how do they gather the courage to just say whatever is on their mind? (and still say some intelligent stuffs!) i can't imagine myself as a doctor here. who wanna listen to a low self-esteem doctor who tries to talk about simple stuff like butterfly and cookies and avoid the nitty-gritty bits (which are actually what they came for)

i may be a tiny, insignificant, ignorant bit of carbon. i have one life. and it is short and unimportant. but i wish to make a difference. even in a microscopic scale. to other pieces of carbons around me.

Insignificant exchange
it's alright
we're getting there

I am not jiwang... at 12:11:00
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

16.11.09

Hey, I'm actually in a fairly good mood


Amie, Bebs, Far, Me and Kaka Nona menang the amazing race!
Running around the city with balloonS never seem so fun!


Addicted to this song now

So catchy




" One, two three, four
Five days once in a lifetime
Five nights
Too good to be true
The universe is passin' by
But I can't forget our
One, two, three, four
"

I am not jiwang... at 18:37:00
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

9.11.09

Hey, i just checked out one of my old-time favourite manga

I just read the ending of Doraemon.. Can't believe Doraemon is just a dream. So all what we read about Doraemon is just what happened inside Nobita's head? I'm confused. Here's the link if you wanna read the ending with translation. Enjoy~ http://doraemon-lastepisod ae1.blogspot.com/

Hehehe Nazi showed me a collection of Doraemon COSPLAYS!! It's a must SEE!! See if you recognise who Doraemon is cosplaying! Doraemon will always be one of the "old-time-fave" cartoon! xD





























Ani cali!! HE HE HE HE

I am not jiwang... at 13:44:00
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

3.11.09

Hey, I actually finished a game in less than a month

The most heartfelt RPG game I have ever played..
Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days


It really portrayed about Friendship. Trust. Betrayal. I love the new soundtrack. Love how kingdom hearts song, especially Roxas song, can always tug on my heart string. Knowing the ending of Kingdom Hearts 2, I really wish for an alternate end between Axel and Roxas. Even made me dreamt I lost someone very dear to me. It's that influential..



My favourite scene with my favourite song.
I don't think it is a spoiler but it may as well be



A special cutscene in KHII:Final Mix. This is supposed to be Axel's goodbye to Roxas.

This happened during the fight between Sora & Roxas after Axel dies and Roxas has his flashbacks (Roxas disappears in the end too..) Axel sees Roxas one last time like he wanted. I think it is really heartwrenching when you see a strong person breaks down :'(

I am not jiwang... at 10:20:00
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

1.11.09

Hey, I actually have an exam in 12 hours!

LIGHTSABERS MAKE EVERYTHING COOLER


So says Mathue Shell of Geekstir, who is (presumably a jobless..) creator of this photoshop. It’s an adaptation of John Trumbull’s 1795 painting “The Death of General Mercer at the Battle of Princeton”, owned by the Yale University Art Gallery.

Aku mau bawa lightsaber to exam.. Cancel tarus the exam sal semua orang awed, inda concentrare. Ha ha ha. Right.


Peach! You gotta see this! Congrats to WFU!

In 2003, Wake Forest University students Nazila Alimohammadi and Anna Clark built this picnic table in the shape of the periodic table of elements. From a campus newspaper:

The two women students created the sculpture as part of a public art course taught in the fall by David Finn, associate professor of art. Students in the class were paired up and assigned to work with campus organizations in creating works for public display. “We wanted our project to be fun and functional without a lot of emotional or political content,” Clark says. An aspiring dentist, Alimohammadi had taken several chemistry classes and suggested working with that department. They devised their “Periodic Table” concept — a pun of the familiar Periodic Table of Elements configuration — and the department responded enthusiastically. Alimohammadi did the structural steel work and Clark hand-painted the surface tiles. The piece, which was dedicated in an informal picnic ceremony on April 15, is accurate in every detail, right down to the auxiliary lanthanides and actinides tables that constitute the table’s bench.

Ani baru tables for orang "maktab sains"!!

I am not jiwang... at 09:24:00
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

30.10.09

Hey, I actually am feeling something weird

We just had venesection aka taking blood from patients. Well putting blood spilling and needles aside, lots of emotional welfare is going around during the procedure. Of course, patients are scared to death thinking of the pain the needle will inflict on them (believe me, the pain is only present near the skin but once it pass the dermis layer where the pain receptor lies, the pain is gone so the needle could stay there FOREVER without causing anything :P) but do you even think of the doctor?

Do you actually think the doctor wants to inject us? Inflicting pain on us? Well I did before but I see my wrong ways. I seen people crying as they inject their friends. Heck, my friend was shaky as she press the needle onto my arm. I closed my eyes as I felt the pain then I started to hear the teacher screaming at her, asking her to just throw the needle into the bin. When I opened my eyes, I saw dark red blood oozing out of my skin, my friend panicking as she threw away the syringe, tourniquet still pressing hard against my skin, more blood oozing out, me feeling weak, other people coming to help wipe the blood and removing the tourniquet latch.

She looked at me in such a sad way, asking me if it hurts, checking if I'm okay. I tried to reassure her that it is fine. Really. I can see her eyes were red but she really held it in. She won't let any tears fall down. Just by seeing her, I felt my heartstring being pulled. But I couldn't bring myself to hug her as I know it'll burden her.

The reason so much blood came out was she did inject the right vein but blood start to ooze out at the needle enter. There was panic and she pulled the needle out and accidentally prick another spot on my arm causing there to be two blood spilling areas.

Its weird how there was no reason for you to be sad but you just feel sad of what happened. You couldn't have done anything to make it better and you're not at fault but just feeling someone depressed at close bay, can affect you. Can feelings really be transfer? For my 20 minutes journey back home, I couldn't smile. I felt like crying if anything. I don't know what I'm trying to say. Probably that we humans are so hormonal..

This guy is so not hormonal..

I am not jiwang... at 10:26:00
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

23.10.09

Hey, my phone actually isn't working right

I want a new phone... that can actually receive signal.. and not necessarily
kill them stick people :P

picture copyrighted from thePadlockChild

I am not jiwang... at 10:23:00
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

14.10.09

Hey, I actually am enjoying this!

FREAAKY

PREGNANCYY..

SO EXPLICIT!!!

SEEING CUT UP FEMALE AND MALE PARTS ARE SO..

EGADS

EXAMS ARE IN NOVEMBER

PEACH IS COMING IN LATE DECEMBER!!

btw.. I never knew Nazi and me look that similar..



EGaddddss
sampat lagi tunjukkan award mijah ah

I am not jiwang... at 12:42:00
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

5.10.09

Hey I'm actually having fun here!

Newcastle is the love!!
(macam berigali bunyinya atu.. this post is massive. Be warned)

I missed a week for this.. Keke Manggis 1 cousins!

Just returned to UK last week I think. Heheh miss about a week of lecture tsk tsk the amount of lecture I missed is just bio a level and pub crawling. So.. inda miss apa-apa la tu.. Babu, bapa, mijah, nazi balik on the same day. Babu bapa hantar aku dulu. Help dengani sort out rumah and decorate my room (MASSIVE CHANGE) since my housemates datang 4 days after. I'm glad they come.. maybe too glad.. when they leave, hingga ternangis ani wa. Ada ka, mikin emotional jua masa 18 ani ah. Sampai Brunei nangis jua, balik ke UK nangis. Then apa yang aku mau ani kan? I dont know myself sometimes.. (haha perasaaan curi line dari movie) Oh, nabil and ifah nangis jua (haha bagi kamu malu :P)

On the way to Newcastle from London Kings Cross Station
Sedia ihh


Sampai!!
Banyak ah taxi di Newcastle station

Room BEFORE
Thats a vacuum btw

Newcastle is so nice, so lawa, so peaceful, so.. SAJUK!! But the cold is okay, its not like the cold to the bone type. Its just cold. Macam air con brunei. The sales sini bagus! Hingga my parents keep going out every day! I asked to berteranah di rumah, then masa pukul 3 atu, jalan jua! Heeeiisshh..


Opposite the university. Clean.
Church..

Some building on the campus. Named after someone famous which I'm
supposed to know but..

After you go out of the uni, you see this!
Well after 2mins walk pulang

Oh sorry, too short
Didn't spot the man standing up there

Even the back alley looks welcoming

Newcastle's famous landmark..
So pretty.. Its worth falling into

Customers of the market on the left hand side
They should call Newcastle, Newbridge
Too much new bridge..

Amie trying to solve a mind-boggling puzzle
If she didn't solve it, the seller will curse her with the puzzle spirit...
The things these merchants do...

Part of the main shopping mall di Newcastle City Centre, Eldoon Square
Hangout place babu bapa

I'm not kidding...
Yes, she bought that box too

My housemates... Hahaha when Farhana datang. It was meriah a bit as she came with her father jua! (HIGH FIVE!) Then masa Amie and Aidah datang. WOW. Macam party kali!! I was being anti-social when they came. Masih mahu usai printer wa. Baru jua kan~ My room di atas kitchen. Dapat dengar wa the ketawa, the screams, the lamb chop smell.. Just from that, I know how the days will be in this house.. Cool la dorang, we eat together everyday, joke-joke and of course TALK (you just wont believe how topics cant never run out..) They're so nice! I don't hesitate bawa orang ke rumah, they're so welcoming *hint* VISIT ME BAH!

Farhana and her dad. Candid obviously.
Oh that's the kitchen

The housemateys.
They're so tall.
I'm hoping tall genes are infectious

Come to my side.. (aka VISIT ME)
Thanks, model

Coursewise.. SO FUN! Everyday ada something exciting! Well.. maybe not the biochem part (sorry Chiao, i have to say that :P) Cadavernya macam. Lain (I cant say we-rd, ada karang di haunt) Macam mummy, macam plastic jua. Doesnt look fresh, iatah inda berijap. Quite yellow. It is about 400 years old i think... We have to touch it pulang. The lung area or more precisely.. the costodiaphragamatic recess, phrenic nerve, subclavian vein, aorta, diaphragm, parietal pleura membrane, visceral pleural membrane, ribs, hilum, mediastinal surface etc. Siuk jua ambil this course, you get to say a mouthful and feel accomplished just by saying it :P The lungs black in colour.. Macam kana barbeque. The dissecting tutor said, all lungs will look like that somehow as we accumulate the smoke we inhaled. Sad..

Trying to highlight my classes for that week but end up highlighting everything..

Course is intensive. Everyday ada classes except weekend of course! Can go from 9am - 5pm. Normally masa lunch, I went to this hall yang ada malaysians. They're so nice! Pinjamkan telekong and bagi food jua!! But feel really bad about that, so I bata saja. I puji Bruneian to be able to speak multiple slang, we can understand malaysians, indonesians, miri-ans, singaporeans. But we ourselves can't be understood. Sedih sedih

In their room in Ricky Road
L to R: Piqi, kiki, Qieki (try saying these names faster, pronouce the Q well~)
That sofa is my bed in between classes. Comfy MAX

Classes are strange, as it can be lectures, hospital visits, clinical lab practical, dissecting room practical, video session (yes.. you have to be video-ed, then be watched by the rest of your group.. VERY HUMILIATING), discussion class and so forth. Its not routined so its exciting in that sense. Baik jua la the ang mo medics eventhough they drink a lot. But guess that's normal. They're so fit too! Haha tadi ada chest examination session. I was praying hard.
No hairy chest.
No hairy chest.
The blokes of our tutor group mesti volunteer to remove their shirts for the sake of EDUCATION. My pray came true. So its alright. But wow. I seen three naked chests now (that sounds wrong) Semuanya ber-abs and muscular. I mean. They're not just geeks. They're FIT! Anyway, then have to belajar the introducing to patient, palpitation, percussion, auscultation.. In other words, touching them. Weird experience. Have to get used to this. Somehow.

Part of my 20 minutes journey to the medical building
Notice that off-colour on the left

You're not seeing things.
I had to walk past a cow field to Uni.
Nice

I am not jiwang... at 21:15:00
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

12.9.09

Hey, I'm actually screwed...

Hohoho I've been a stalker these past few days. Sorry orang NewcastleBru! I am excited for this Sept but then again.. I'm scared jua cause of the new environment, new course, new people.. Ahh this letter NEW!

I dunno why I'm taking Medicine sometimes, when I look at the details of the course, especially the biochemistry part, I feel.. FAIL ni!! GERENTI FAIL!! But when I looked at the practical side, it doesn't seem so bad.. Have to buy white coats, stethoscope, googles, anatomy books!! I see sparkles!! Hahaha kasian jua aku ani.. Here to a 5/7 years in Newcastle! It will work, I can feel it x) Hope I won't come to a point where I regret the path I chose during that "fork" It better not..

I saw this gambar di album Amie!! Heheheh ani masa Newcastle Sungkai dinner. The names in bold are gonna be my housemates :D Zyra is the ex-housemate. I took her place since she graduated. Pity.. It'd be cool if kami semua sama rumah! Fikriyah, adik Farhana, she sat next to me! She also helped ease off my nervous feeling during the sungkai along with the members of the same table xD Of course, who won't know Aidah? I worshipped her lama dah dari MS for her leader capabilities :P to think now we're living in the same house! Lain fate ani!!

L to R: Fikriyah, me, Amie, Zyra, Aidah, Farhana

I am not jiwang... at 10:07:00
fate crumbled all around 0 identities

` here.waiting ;

    For the time to return
    back to the sultanate
    to finally catch up the times lost
    Z Ismail

that'.last>note

^reminds;me*of